Mind Field
by sentarla
Summary: How dark is Harry Potter's Mind? Come in and find out, but please read the warnings.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: This story is made with no intentions of profit and all characters and ideas created by JKR are still hers, so help me God.,  
  
Authors note (A/N) This story is pre-slash and could possibly go slash before the end. If the idea of two males together (mainly Harry and Snape) worry you then I think it is best if you leave now.  
  
Warning: There are a few, so please be aware of them. The story will deal with the topic of suicide, rape and child abuse. If there are any more warning to add I will add them as the story goes on. As mentioned above, the story may also contain slash but if that happens, I will be very clear with the warnings.  
  
Title: Mind Field  
  
"Arrrhh, do you smell that Minerva? The smell of Christmas."  
  
Mrs. McGonagall to the children, but Minerva to the person beside her, smiled at the childish look of pleasure on the elderly man's face.  
  
"Indeed Albus, only a few more weeks and we will have the school to ourselves again."  
  
Smiling at the hidden meaning, Dumbledore was about to say something else when a strange expression crossed his face. Swiftly pulling out his wand, Dumbledore mumbled a few words and closed his eyes. About to move closer to her companion; to ask what was wrong, McGonagall found herself stuck. It was only with great effort that she could move forward and even then it was like walking through concrete. Looking unaffected by what ever was happening, Dumbledore paced in a circle for a few moments, mumbling to himself. Barely two minuets after the strangeness started it stopped and McGonagall was released.  
  
Dumbledore let out a long sigh.  
  
"Minerva, I want you to assemble all the students in the great hall. Reassure them that everything is fine and that we just testing the school wards and therefore need the grounds cleared. I will let you know when they are to be released.  
  
Not waiting for an answer, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster and very powerful wizard walked away. 


	2. Mind Field Pg2

Disclaimer: Not mine, would treat better if they were, but then, you would not know by this story.trust me ]  
  
Mind Field 2/?  
  
The Dungeon Severus Snape also felt the effects, but unlike Professor McGonagall, Snape knew what had happened and his mind was working overtime as he waited for mobility to return. Once he was able to move Snape gathered a few potions and headed for the heart of the disturbance.  
  
Hogwarts Grounds Both Dumbledore and Snape rounded the corner at the same time, both surprised, but entirely shocked at what they found. There suspended mere inches above the ground floated a Hogwarts student.  
  
Snape unable to fully believe what he was seeing once he recognized the student walked around the younger boy, trying to convince himself otherwise. Turning to the Headmaster, Snape asked one word.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Understanding the puzzlement, Dumbledore pointed up and both were able to see the flicker of movement above them. Nodding to his younger college, Dumbledore disappeared and then reappeared with a very scared looking slytherin beside him.  
  
"Is.Is he dead?"  
  
Barely able to hold his growing anger, Snape moved closer to the trembling Malfoy and repeated his earlier question.  
  
Shaking his head Malfoy fumbled for words. "I.I.He.He..Jumped sir, I don't.I didn't."  
  
Before the boy could loss all control Dumbledore took control again.  
  
"That's enough. I think we should continue this discussion elsewhere."  
  
With a few words, the four people appeared in the infirmary.  
  
More to come but please review! 


	3. Mind Field Pg3

Disclaimer: Not mine, would treat better if they were, but then, you would not know by this story.trust me ]  
  
A/N: Wow, three reviews! Special thank you to my first . Sorry about the wait in updating, and for the short first two parts. I have spent the last week sick and I work around 15 hours a day. I am hoping each part will be bigger, but it just depends on how much time I have to type. Please feel free to let me know what you think of the story.  
  
Mind Field 3/?  
  
~Infirmity~  
  
Levitating the unconscious Gryffindor onto the bed Dumbledore motioned Malfoy towards Snape.  
  
"Severus, please take young Malfoy and find out what happened. I am going to try and rouse our young Mr. Potter.  
  
"Dismissing the two people from his mind, Dumbledore moved closer to the stiff figure on the bed. Looking closely the elderly man could see dried tear tracks, a face that spoke of pain more internal then external and a school robe missing a few buttons. The last was a little surprising and it concerned him greatly as there were only a few possible reasons for such a state and non of them good.  
  
"Harry. Harry, it is time to open your eyes. Your safe now."  
  
Dumbledore's lips tightened as no movement was forth coming.  
  
Mumbling a short incantation, Dumbledore watched as the young body arched and then fell still, the eyes never opening. With a sigh, he summoned Poppy and asked her to tell the staff that everything was now under control and then he sat down and waited for Professor Snape to return.  
  
~Dungeon~  
  
"Do not attempt to lie Mr. Malfoy. You would not like the consequences. Tell me what happened, and be quick."  
  
Having used the walk from the infirmity to gather himself, Draco Malfoy looked his usual self assured self and was no longer trembling.  
  
"I don't know why Potter jumped."  
  
Snape glared at the young boy and asked a different question placing a glass of water near the blond boy. "Very well Mr. Malfoy. What were you both doing before Potter 'jumped'?"  
  
Taking a large gulp of the water beside him, Malfoy stalled for time as he thought of options. Opening his mouth, intending a lie, he was stunned to find himself unable to speak anything except the truth.  
  
"I've been watching Potter for months. I know that when he wants to be alone he goes to the East Tower. I saw him going there earlier and I decided that today was the day, so I followed him and then put charms on the door to stop him from getting away and a silencing charm for privacy." Shutting his mouth, his eyes wide, Malfoy looked in horror at the water beside him, wanting desperately to stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.  
  
"Oh no Mr. Malfoy, please continue."  
  
Barely pausing for breath, Malfoy continued recounting what was happening.  
  
"Potter was surprised to see me, he asked me to leave, but I had no intentions of leaving. He tried to leave himself, but I grabbed him and pushed him against the wall."  
  
"And why pray tell, would you do this Mr. Malfoy?"  
  
"I wanted him. I am sick of all the attention he gets. I'm so sick off everyone thinking he is so special, so I wanted to show him how special he really was. I wanted to treat him like a whore; rip him open and then spit on him. Show him who really was in control."  
  
Barely able to hold his temper, his voice as cold as ice, Snape told Malfoy to continue.  
  
" He fought really hard, but it was not until I had started taking his clothes off that he was able to push me away. The whole time he was screaming. He looked an absolute mess, just how I imagined. I told him there was no where to go, that I was not going to let him go until I had finished. He started edging towards the window. I had no idea he would even think about jumping, it was not like I was going to kill him." His mouth finally stopping, having reached the point of Potter's jump, Draco looked towards the dungeon's door and calculated his chances.  
  
"I have no words Mr. Malfoy to express my utter content for you at this moment. This goes beyond your house, and may very well go beyond the school's ability to punish. I am placing you in a bind charm and you will not be permitted to leave until the headmaster is ready to deal with you. You had better hope, Mr. Malfoy that Mr. Potter is stronger than you believe." Waving his wand, Snape left the sober Slytherin charmed bounded to a chair and headed to the infirmary.  
  
More to come but please review! 


	4. Update notes

Mind?Field Author Notes:  
Hi, First let me say thank you for the comments on the latest part. I will not often write A/N like this, but I feel I need to let everyone know what is happening so you don`t get upset with me. I am currently in mourning. I woke up on Sunday, the day after I posted the last part and my computer did not, It died in it`s sleep. Due to this, the next part may take a week or so, as I have to wait for payday to get a new computer. As soon as I get one, I will post, and once I have a new computer I will do my best to have bigger parts. Thank you for putting up with me, and please review, when you do, it convinces me to stay with posting to Fanfiction instead of only on my webpage. Thanks! Sentarla 


	5. Mind Field Pg4

!!!Warning!!!! This part deals with abuse, Rape and Non-Con read at your own peril  
  
Infirmary  
  
"Any change Headmaster?"  
  
Shaking his head negatively, Dumbledore gestured to the chair on the other side of the bed.  
  
"Please sit down Severus, I need your help."  
  
Looking a little uncertain, Snape sat down and switched his attention back and forth between Potter and the Headmaster.  
  
"I have tried the awakening spell Severus, but as you can see, there was no effect, I fear that what ever has happened is only a small part of what is truly upsetting Harry. I have some suspicions, but I need you to take the Blending Potion and talk to him."  
  
Grimacing, Snape gave his full attention to Dumbledore. "I don't believe Headmaster that I am the best person to talk to Mr. Potter. We are all aware of out feeling towards the two of use. Would not Mrs. McGonagall, or ever yourself, be better suited to this task?"  
  
Nodding his head, Dumbledore looked Severus straight in the eyes and softly spoke.  
  
"Severus, there is no need to pretend with me. I know why you are hesitant, and I understand how much I am asking of you. To remind you of something that happened 20 years ago is not intentional, but you are the only one, other than myself, who knows what Harry is going thought and has the strength of character to come back if you fail. I can't do this Severus, Harry is not ready to know what I do and I have responsibilities here. Please. Afterwards you may do what you wish and I will support your discussion."  
  
Taking in the soft heartfelt words, Snape looked once more at the still figure on the bed and bowed his head.  
  
"Very well Albus. Mr. Malfoy is bound in my office. So it is official I have magically restrained Mr. Draco Malfoy in my office for your judgment. His intentions were dishonorable and he had fully intended to assault Mr. Potter in the cruelest way possible. He showed little remorse and as his House Head I ask you to use all of your powers and ability in seeing that he has the proper punishment. I do this freely and with the knowledge that it may be the only way to save Harry Potters life. With this in mind, I wish Draco Malfoy punishment to reflect this. If in one lunar month there had been no change I wish you personally to dispose of my body."  
  
"Severus."  
  
"No Albus, I will not have my body gossiped over for the next thirty years. One lunar month is more than enough time."  
  
Nodding his head in acceptance, Dumbledore stood and placed a hand on both Harry and the tightly controlled Potions Master.  
  
"Good luck my friends."  
  
Placing a silencing charm around the bed, the old man rose and left the infirmary.  
  
Severus Snape, Potions Master and Death Eater turned spy looked at the figure on the bed, trying to prepare himself for the upcoming trial. It had been almost 20 years since Severus had to really think about what happened and how he was still amongst the living.  
  
Snape remembered the pain, anguish and above all, the desperate need to end it all. It was this feeling that Snape need to recapture so he could help the young boy on the bed. The feeling that ruled his life and nearly lead to his death, before it was conquered.  
  
Closing his eyes, Severus Snape gathered and then held onto the once strong memories and took Harry's cold hand. Chanting a short yet powerful incantation, Severus tried to join teen wherever he maybe.  
  
~~00~~  
  
Harry was screaming, yet he knew no one heard him, or if they did, they did no care. Like most of his life, he was trapped in a dark room, unable to see anything, but still able to feel.  
  
He could feel the touch of cold and clammy hands, randomly touching him both in pain and in self-pleasure. He could hear voiced in the dark touching him telling him in great detail what they had planned to do to him and how worthless he was. No matter how hard he pressed his hands to his ears, he could not block their words out; it was as if they were coming from within his own head.  
  
Curling up tighter, Harry stopped screaming to take a small breath and then let out another scream as practically harsh hands tried to reach under him and gain access to sensitive areas. Tying to block out the hands around him, Harry wished for death, wished for all this to be finished with and maybe, just maybe have relief for the first time in his life. As the hands got harsher and then finally broke thought what pitiful attempt his small body had used, Harry whimpered and fresh tears silently trickled down his bruised face. Knowing from experience that there was no stopping this hideous act and that struggling would only prolong the pain and increase the please of the abuse, Harry held himself still and waited.  
  
~~00~~  
  
To say he was surprised was an understatement. Although Severus had believed he could successfully join Potter's mind, he had not truly expected it to work so easily. Looking around him, Severus thought back on his own experience and what he would encounter. The first level would be barren, a representation on Potter's current physical condition.  
  
From here Severus would need to travel straight, depending on how deep Potter had retreated would indicate how far he would have to walk. At first there would be phantoms and insubstantial memories, not able to physically hurt, but still provide their own pain.  
  
The further he traveled the more substantial and stronger they become. The ones around Harry, at the core of his fears would be very powerful, there powers such that they would be as powerful here as in the real world, if not greater.  
  
Severus was not sure what to expect, but as he walked he knew it was never what he found.  
  
The first ghost he came across was a young boy, barely two, crying for his parents who lay beside him on the floor. Although it should not be possible at that age, the child's face showed understanding of what had happened to his parents.  
  
Walking a little quicker, Severus walked passed this ghost, so old now that they were forever be part of the young man and as such did not require his attention.  
  
It did not take very long for the next ghost to appear. An older version of Potter, maybe four years old crouched in a corner of a muggle house, trying to protect himself from the plates and cups being thrown at him. A voice, only a whisper in the air could be faintly heard, screeching at the terrified child. Cruel hateful words were thrown just as sharply as the dishes.  
  
Appalled at what he was seeing, Severus continued forward, the ghosts coming quickly now and gaining strength with each one.  
  
Severus watched what could only be described as a horror movie. Memory after memory of a childhood spent in pain and humiliation, surrounded by people who by all rights should have protected and loved him; instead they abused and tortured their charge.  
  
If Snape thought it could not get worse, he was wrong. The mindscape started taking on a darker tone once he reached the memories of an eight- year-old Harry Potter.  
  
The air got thicker and darker and the feeling of pain, hopelessness, strongly permeated the thick air. Severus felt torn as he watched a ghost of the boy being raped for the first time.  
  
Wanting to help, but knowing that he needed to continue to the end, Severus wisped a soft "I'm sorry" and quickened his pace.  
  
For his own sanity Snape stopped listening to the cries of pain and suffering around him, looking only for quick moments at the memories and then moving on.  
  
Finally after what seemed like hours, Severus reached the end of the road. There in front of him was a small cupboard, one he remember from earlier memories to be the cupboard under the stairs.  
  
Lined up outside the door were many solid ghosts, all waiting to have their turn with the tortured sole behind the door.  
  
In the line there were copied of some of the more prominent ghosts. Severus could see many copies of Vernon, Harry's guardian, as well as Cedric looking bloody and angry. Voldemort and few other muggles that Severus had seen glimpses of in some of the darker memories were doubled as well, standing in between the copies.  
  
Walking up to the front of the line, Severus took a breath to collect himself, then bent over in pain as his senses where nearly overwhelmed with the pain and suffering that saturated the air.  
  
Panting trying to focus his mind, Severus stood up straight and drew his wand, pointing it at the line of ghost. Collecting his own painful memories as well as all the positive feeling he had of the young Potter, Severus sent them at the waiting ghost.  
  
For a brief moment nothing happen and then as one the ghost all tried to opened their mouth and cried out, but where frozen solid; internally fighting the new threaten.  
  
Severus knew that the spell would not last permanently, but it would give him enough time to try and help the tortured boy that was on the other side of the door.  
  
Keeping his wand out, Severus unlocked the numerous locks on the small door and entered.  
  
~~~~~00~~~~~  
  
Please review!!!!! Happy Birthday my friend!!! Lets party at midnight 


	6. Mind Field Pg5

Warning!!! Please read the warning in part 4!!!  
  
Harry did not react as he felt the thrusting body above him stop. In all his years, he had never had a person stop and move away in the middle of his torture so he was unsure of what to do, wondering if this was all part of the act. Resisting the urge to open his eyes, Harry strained his ears, trying to hear any hint of what was next to come.  
  
As each bolt unlocked, Harry gave a small flinch, wondering who or what, could be so bad that it had stopped his current tormentor.  
  
Tightly closing his eyes at the soft panting coming from the doorway, Harry prayed that this would be the end, that whoever or whatever was now coming would finally put an end to his suffering.  
  
Immediately flinching as he felt a hand come towards him, Harry could not help a soft whimper of pain that passed his lips. His young body was in so much pain from all the beatings and rapes that his mind was only hanging on by a thread. A large part of him, fully believed all the cruel words that had been spoken and he just wanted it to end.  
  
Who ever entered the room did not try to touch him again, but spoke his name in a soft kind voice.  
  
Believing this to be just another deceptive form of torture, Harry refused to open his eyes and make real another abuser. With his eyes closed, he could at least pretend there was still hope, that maybe he wasn't alone, but that there was someone else In the room watching, just unable to help.  
  
The young trembling boy was brought out of his thoughts when he felt something warm placed over his body. The material was smooth as silk, as warm as wool, and as light as a feather. His name was softly repeated and Harry, wondering if it was truly safe to open his eyes, or if this was just the beginning of another attack.  
  
~~~00~~~  
  
Severus had never realized what hell might look like until the moment he had opened the small door and entered the dark room. Using the light coming from the now open door way, Severus looked at the small naked child in the corner and took in the amount of blood on the floor and around the battered body. Moving past the stunned ghost of the boys uncle, Severus moved closer, praying that he was not too late, that there was still a chance to reach Potter.  
  
Not wanting to cause any more pain, but seeing no other option, Severus places a hand lightly on the boys trembling body, softly speaking his name. Feeling the body below his hands finch, Severus tried to think of another way to gain the young boys attention.  
  
Continueally saying the child's name softly, Severus took off his coat and crouched down. Mumbling a charm, he turned his coat into something more useful and less irritating to the damaged before him and placed it over him. Hoping that the symbolic gesture may reach the natural instinct of far and into the mind of the child beneath.  
  
~~~00~~~  
  
Harry waited a few moments and nothing more happened. A small spark of curiosity that had not yet be extinguished prompted the young man to slightly open his eyes and see who had entered the room and place the warm garment over him.  
  
As Harry's eyes caught sight of the closely crouched figure of his dreaded Potions Master he have a pained laughed, unable to believe what he saw in front of him. His voice husky and really non-existent from screaming tried but failed to form sounds. Before he could try again, a cool liquid was placed near his mouth and without question, Harry tried to swallow. Once the precious liquid was gone, Harry tried his voice again.  
  
"Are you real?"  
  
Receiving a yes, Harry asked the next emphatic question.  
  
"Why do you hate me? Please, if you have any feelings at all, please help me die.please..."  
  
The last word ended in a painful sob, and Harry closed his eyes waiting for the end, hoping that the one person who had always openly showed his hatred would be glad to complete the request.  
  
~~~00~~~  
  
Severus wanted to close his eyes in thanks when he saw two swollen eyelids open a fraction, then green eyes appear as they open wider. But, not wanting to loss what small connection they had stopped him.  
  
See the boy open his mouth in an attempted to speak, Severus transformed a nearby object into a glass of water and held it up to Harry's bleeding lips. At first he was not sure if it was a good or bad thing that Harry accepted the liquid so easily but once the child had pleaded with him to kill him, Severus knew it was a bad thing. Severus realized that he could have fed Harry Poison and it also would have been accepted with the same vigor and with profound thanks.  
  
Looking at the shattered body before him, Severus wanted to let out the rage that was building inside of him, but he knew that now was not the time. Harry needed all his attention and support and Severus had no idea where to start.  
  
~~~~00~~~~~ Once again, Happy Birthday - wow two for your birthday, man I must love you  
  
More to come, let me know what you think, comments, ideas, all is welcome as the rest needs to be written so let me know what you think ( 


	7. Mind Field Pg6

Disclaimer: This story is made with no intentions of profit and all characters and ideas created by JKR are still hers no matter how I try.

(A/N) Sorry about the delay, what can I say, I have been very busy, as well as I have not been in the same frame of mine to write this. This part is going out to Mouse, Happy Birthday!!!! Hopefully it will not take another Birthday for me to write more of this story. Don't for get to send feedback!

Mind 5

After a large silence, Harry opened his eyes again to make sure that his Potions Master had not disappeared. Seeing an expression, opposite to any seen before on the pale narrow face, Harry tried again.

"Please. I beg you, please..." With his strength failing, Harry lay there trembling."

Knowing that time was growing short, Snape moved closer to the battered boy and brushed a hand over his face, electing a started noise and two green eyes, instantly opened.'

"Harry, we have very little time, I need you to stand. You must trust me and do as I say. If at the end of your journey, when you are in your right mind, you still wish me to help you, then I will give you a quick painless potion. But for know I need you to come with me."

Moving even closer, Snape offered his hand and waited for Harry to accept it.

Looking at the hand as if it was something from another planet, Harry tried to make his tired brain work. After all that was said, all that Harry could remember hearing was that Snape would help him end it, as long as he went with Snape now. Not caring about what Snape wanted, Harry put his hand inside the large one offered and nodded his head slightly.

Accepting the small hand, Snape pulled Harry into his arms and straightened up within the small cupboard. Barely glancing at the stunned ghosts around him, Snape took Harry through another door that had magically appeared and into his own mind. A place that he had had locked up 20 years until today. A place he did not want to go, but know that he had to. A place where Harry could see all the suffering Snape had experienced, and maybe find peace of his own.


End file.
